How do I even begin to tell the story about the day I was relentlessly pursued by a dairy cow?
Her soft brown eyes told of a longing for connection. The intensity of her stare said this would be a day I’d never forget …
(She thinks you’re pretty)
How Now, this beautiful brown cow, has shared with me things you should know that I know now.
1) Cows have horns - not just bulls.
2) When a cow won’t leave you alone, even if she’s on the small side, really sweet, young and very playful, don’t ignore her advances (or that she is advancing on you).
3) By the time you feel her horns touching you in an intimate way, it might be too late to gently dissuade her.
4) A few hundred pounds of frisky cattle is hard to dissuade or distract - gently or not.
5) Rodeo clowns are heros.
6) By the time an amorous bovine has her hooves on your shoulders, it’s probably too late to plan a sound exit strategy.
7) If you are a person who has very recently fallen off of a horse and not long before that had your nose broken by an exuberant puppy, you might not be entirely surprised when you find yourself on the ground underneath a cow.
8) When a cow knocks you over, she could be just as surprised as you.
9) Being surprised doesn’t mean she’s not still interested.
10) Responding well after an unexpected event can be as valuable as pre-empting it or reacting in the moment, whether human or bovine.
11) Even cows need love.
Once I picked myself up and dusted myself off (and got over the shock of having been chased down and mounted by a cow), I realized not only was I fine, I was quite pleased with myself.
This is my life! I got to experience what it’s like to survive and laugh about a cow stalker. Not only that, but when I told our kids what happened, rather than worrying if I was okay (a little concern might have been nice, dear children), they asked me one question: Did you see her udders?
No, I did not. Honestly, I forgot to look.
I’ve spent a lot of years at a desk/cubicle/screen wishing for better days, doing work that had me admitting that a little part of me was dying inside; not anymore.
I am living in the adventure of life as it is, not as I’d expected it to be, not what I’d hoped to find some day if I worked hard enough and played by someone else’s rules.
How now am I? Resilient. With true grit. Able to find joy, surprise and delight in the most absurd and unexpected moments. One who stays calm in extraordinary circumstances. And just as heroic as a rodeo clown.