If you’re looking at this picture, you might see:

1. A rock concert in progress (this is Green Day at the Sports Arena in Los Angeles, aka the City of Angels, on April 18, 2013)

2. A crowd of spectators, many with their hands in the air - as was requested by the band (PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!)

I was there, I saw that too.

Now look again at the same photo to see what else I saw (I’ve marked the photo on a very tiny screen somewhat inaccurately to provide a reference point):

See those big guys at the front - the ones in the yellow and blue shirts and jackets marked “Security” who could easily make up the large part of a football team - I’m reasonably certain they are angels.

I had to look it up to be sure. An angel is a messenger, an attendant spirit or guardian. Yep. That’s what these guys are.

Green Day (while in 2013 are as much in their 40s as most everyone else I know) in their roots are an American punk rock band. If you think of punk rock and saw mosh pits and crowd surfing concert goers you could make up that such behavior is inherently unsafe, angry, violent, dangerous or out of control.

I experienced a different story that night in the City of Angels: the electricity of a band interacting with their fans, playing their hearts out, singing the passion and rage of their lyrics, music vibrating through the soles of our feet and echoing from the voices of the crowd through the walls of the arena.

And then, there was a show within the show that originated from within the masses which I’ll call The CrowdSurf Catch. A person would travel prone up towards the stage, lifted and carried above in the arms of the revelers. He or she would reach the barrier between the audience and the performers. In another world, with one giant step forward, they’d be onstage singing along with Billy Joe Armstrong. But no. Not here. Not this time. Instead, each would reach the edge, and one of the big guys would  reach up towards the hands of the crowd, lift them gently and place them  down back on their feet, then encourage each along their way.

I watched it over and over again, a conveyor belt of love and overhead presses. No drama, no police action, just a peaceful and safe return to the night, every single time without fail. 

The world can be a scary place. This concert took place days after the Boston Marathon bombing when it felt not great to be part of a crowd. Witnessing these angels in action, I kept hearing Mr. Rogers in my mind: Look for the helpers. 

Angels. Helpers. Messengers. Attendant Spirits. Guardians.

If you can’t find one, be one. 

How do I even begin to tell the story about the day I was relentlessly pursued by a dairy cow?

Her soft brown eyes told of a longing for connection. The intensity of her stare said this would be a day I’d never forget …

(She thinks you’re pretty)

How Now, this beautiful brown cow, has shared with me things you should know that I know now. 

1) Cows have horns - not just bulls.

2) When a cow won’t leave you alone, even if she’s on the small side, really sweet, young and very playful, don’t ignore her advances (or that she is advancing on you).

3) By the time you feel her horns touching you in an intimate way, it might be too late to gently dissuade her. 

4) A few hundred pounds of frisky cattle is hard to dissuade or distract - gently or not.

5) Rodeo clowns are heros.

6) By the time an amorous bovine has her hooves on your shoulders, it’s probably too late to plan a sound exit strategy.

7) If you are a person who has very recently fallen off of a horse and not long before that had your nose broken by an exuberant puppy, you might not be entirely surprised when you find yourself on the ground underneath a cow.

8) When a cow knocks you over, she could be just as surprised as you. 

9) Being surprised doesn’t mean she’s not still interested.

10) Responding well after an unexpected event can be as valuable as pre-empting it or reacting in the moment, whether human or bovine. 

11) Even cows need love.

Once I picked myself up and dusted myself off (and got over the shock of having been chased down and mounted by a cow), I realized not only was I fine, I was quite pleased with myself.

This is my life! I got to experience what it’s like to survive and laugh about a cow stalker. Not only that, but when I told our kids what happened, rather than worrying if I was okay (a little concern might have been nice, dear children), they asked me one question: Did you see her udders?

No, I did not. Honestly, I forgot to look. 

I’ve spent a lot of years at a desk/cubicle/screen wishing for better days, doing work that had me admitting that a little part of me was dying inside; not anymore.

I am living in the adventure of life as it is, not as I’d expected it to be, not what I’d hoped to find some day if I worked hard enough and played by someone else’s rules.  

How now am I? Resilient. With true grit. Able to find joy, surprise and delight in the most absurd and unexpected moments. One who stays calm in extraordinary circumstances. And just as heroic as a rodeo clown.

This cow has taught me a thing (or 11) … stay tuned. #excellentadventures

You know when you just know something? I had one of those moments recently that hit me like cross between a ton of bricks and a pie in the face. 

Long ago, somewhere deep within the recesses of my mind, I believed (among many things) that the world would be a better place if I checked everything off my to-do list. Perhaps I was preoccupied, and maybe thought that if I didn’t do “it,” “It” wouldn’t ever get done, and it was my fault, and that felt bad. I liked to control things, looked for stability and status quo if a boat was rocked. Ambition and drive led to stress, burnout, exhaustion, anxiety, and a sense of responsibility that felt like the world only spun if I kept doing my thing. I’ve lived Type A. I’ve sworn up and down that work/life balance simply didn’t exist.

I can’t help it, but even as I write about it, I actually yawn. 

(If you feel like this, though, talk to me. It’s my work in the world to help people see that they are way more than their tired old stories. And we have a lot of fun while we’re doing it.)

So, this TED talk reminded me that this habit of checking items off of a to-do list, following the path of what’s expected … it’s been a thing I’ve done a lot in my life (pretty sure that’s the literal definition of habit). Feeling bad about what didn’t get done, and pushing the list into a hundred tomorrows and living in the endless fascination of a future with an empty inbox and a completed list? Um, no. Not quite the masterpiece I’d want to leave as a legacy (thanks to my Into the Fire Leadership partner, Gary Mahler, for this particular insight!)  Something about these lists left me living in a fantasy of life as it could be - and not the stop in your tracks, I can’t believe it’s this amazing BRILLIANCE of life as it is right now.

Looking for my identity in outcomes and accomplishments isn’t super interesting or tempting anymore. I can’t tell you the last time I laughed my ass off finishing a list of tasks. 

There is energy in ideas, energy in sharing them, in telling our stories, in laughing and not taking life (or death) so seriously, in belief, recognizing the brilliance in others and in the unknown. 

I’m scrapping my bucket list and living the adventure of my life. These are my stories.

To create, “say no to everything else.”

Last fall, I attended a conference of women entrepreneurs, and had the opportunity to spend some time getting to know a colleague whom I’d met in passing at a few ICF meetings. I didn’t know her know her, but I’d heard of her - living in the same area, working in the same field with a similar client interest - I knew her name. 

The conference had networking opportunities, and at the time, I was shifting away from one focus into something else that I didn’t exactly know, so I wasn’t really selling my stuff - or myself with any great sense of purpose. I went to listen, to connect, to see if anything lit me up. 

The woman I vaguely knew was there with intention. It was written all over her face. She had been working on a project - a passion project - and was in talks with a book publisher to bring her message to a bigger audience. 

(Her book is being published this week!) 

As she told me what she’d done, why she’d done it, what she felt she had to do, and what happened because of it, I thought to myself, could I do this?  Not the part about the book deal, or sharing my message with the masses, the part about challenging myself publicly to change something in my life, being all messy and vulnerable in front of people, not knowing if it was going to result in anything?

(Oh, and she did hers with daily video blogs. Have you ever seen me video blog? Me neither.) 

I thought to myself: So. Not. Me.

Yet there is a part that is me. I have an itch to produce and create something, and I don’t know what it is. This itch is a bit uncomfortable, actually, and it reminds me of the Anais Nin quote: 

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

We celebrated our colleague this week, and as she told of her journey, her words resonated with me. “Keep showing up and doing the work.” For the magic to happen, you have to open the door - which reminded me of Elizabeth Gilbert’s brilliant TED Talk on nurturing creativity. 

Something is going to happen, to shift, to change, to emerge. Something will be created, born, given life, given roots and wings. Something will grow. Something will blossom. Something will flourish. 

Or not.

I’m open, and I’m going to keep showing up to do the work that comes to me. 

There is a problem with the title already - a quick search yields a gymnasium in the UK and a fitness an wellness program in South Carolina. Hmmm….an obstacle or information? 

Background

April has been an interesting month. A conversation with my coach about developing the strengths I have and not focusing on my (um, what’s the opposite of strengths that isn’t “weaknesses” or “shortcomings”) less developed character traits threw me into both an inventory of my own best used talents and a Kindle. I’m reading like crazy and learning rapid-fire. As it turns out, learning is a key strength of mine.

The Link with Positive Psychology

This past week,  our local chapter of the International Coaching Federation (of which I currently serve on the Board of Directors) hosted a speaker on Positive Psychology, and again the topic of strengths was focal. Our speaker shared data from happiness research that indicates the character strengths most associated with well being are:

• Hope & Optimism
• Gratitude
• Curiosity
• Zest*
• Capacity to Love & Be Loved

In addition, the two key indicators to workplace satisfaction are:

• Hope & Optimism
• Zest*

Fascinated by this, and curious to see where my character strengths were most clear lead me to Authentic Happiness, the home of Dr. Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology — a branch of psychology which focuses on the empirical study of such things as positive emotions, strengths-based character, and healthy institutions — at the University of Pennsylvania. 

A Long Story Made Short

I took the VIA Survey of Character Strengths. Knowing how important  Zest* is for well-being and workplace satisfaction, I scanned the list to see where I rate on this particular faculty. Out of 24 key strengths, my self reflection of Zest* showed up at #18. 

Awareness Leads to Action

I took the Strengths Finder 2.0 two weeks ago, and have had a chance to sit on and reflect upon the good there, and with the insight of the VIA, I will march forward with a deeper understanding and appreciation to expand upon my core strengths — it makes sense. But I can’t let Zest* stay at an 18 forever. 

I’m on a quest … for Zest.

What is your quest?

*Per the VIA Survey, the quality of Zest/Enthusiasm/Energy is defined as regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.